Tantrums of toddlers

You walk in the supermarket with your toddler by the hand or maybe he is in the shopping cart. While shopping, he makes it clear to you that he wants something that you don't like at the time. Your toddler gets angry and his temper is inevitably the result. He throws himself on the floor and starts to kick around or tries to throw himself out of the shopping cart. Does this sound familiar? Then read what you can do about it or how you can prevent it.
Toddlers are little people who are not yet able to put into words what they want to say. Their insights, ability to think and their abilities are also still developing. At certain moments this inability arises when something is not allowed or not possible. The toddler is getting frustrated. Out of powerlessness the toddler becomes angry and the tantrum arises. How the child behaves varies per child. The child can bump his head against the wall, kick, hit, shout, throw and even hold the breath. Almost all parents experience it to a greater or lesser extent, both at home and somewhere in the middle of the street. A tantrum of your toddler sometimes makes you angry yourself, giving you the wrong response.
To assist your child during a tantrum, it is important to know the cause of the tantrum.

How does it originate?


Mainly a tantrum arises from frustration. The toddler cannot yet respond optimally to a certain situation or cannot do something that he would like to do.
  • When your child has become angry after something has failed, you can sit quietly with him and help him with what he was doing. Also state that you have seen that something did not work and that you are happy to help him with that.
  • If the mood came about because he was not allowed to do something by you, you don't have to pay much attention to it. Pay attention if he can't hurt himself, but don't give in and don't get irritated.

Not enough attention

If the child feels that he or she does not get enough attention, he or she may also become angry and ask for your attention through his temper.
  • Explain that you didn't have time for him, but that you naturally want to be with him. Hug him and you will see that he will put his toddler arms around you and that he will surrender.


Toddlers have to deal with many impressions and can suddenly become very tired. Sometimes they surrender to it and become calm and fall asleep. But the opposite also happens and they get wild, upset and end up in a tantrum.
  • If the underlying reason is fatigue, you can also name it. Comfort him because he is tired. Make sure your child arrives quickly at a place where he can rest.

What can you do?

In all cases, remain calm, breathe calmly and show your child that you are there for him anyway, even if he is angry.
  • When you see that your child has fallen into a tantrum, stay calm.
  • Kneel next to your child so that you reach the same eye level.
  • Speak with sweet calming words, or explain that you want to help him.
  • Grab your toddler with love and embrace it. Hold him and let him cry. Comfort him. This way, most children lose their emotion.

Comfort your child

It is, of course, out of the question to give your child his own way afterwards. So don't give in! As a parent you are the boss and you decide that something is not allowed. You just show him that you are there to comfort him in his grief and anger. That feels nice to him.
For children who are in danger of beating things short and short during the tantrum and for which rapprochement and comfort are not possible, it is important to put the toddler in a safe place. Make sure your toddler cannot hurt himself or destroy valuable items. Then let the child out. Some children then also lose their temper. When they are calm again, it is sometimes good to still offer the comforting arm.

Video: Three Ways to Stop a Toddler Tantrum (April 2020).

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